This maybe an overstatement, but I forget my name when a lad pulls my hair while grinding inside me. Some men are afraid of going overboard because they think that every woman is the same. The thing is I'm not every woman.

I'm the kind of lass who's excited for her next trips. I always have questions on my mind like, "What's the trip gonna be like?" "Are there massage parlors?" "Will I find cosmic restaurants?" Having these questions in my head keeps me from sleeping.

Yes, I am a little kinky and a HUGE Tease! I do love being picked up in the hands of a strong man and being fucked against a wall, on the washing machine and even straddling a fast lap! Your cup of tea?

A cuppa with a dash of whiskey and an electrical boyfriend in hand, that's how I would end my nights. I would love it if my dildo gets replaced with a real prick soon, I'm growing older and am getting a tad bit impatient.

What would be the best way to spend the dreary afternoons? Binge watching my favourite porn films. When it rains, I stay indoors and get wet myself. Nothing wrong with a middle aged woman wanking herself until she passes out, am I right?

It has been long since I visited a watering hole and all I can say is I miss the taste of alcohol. I also miss being three sheets in the wind with a bunch of my mates. But what I miss the most about the watering holes is flirting around with some nic...